Funny moments of koffee with karan - Alia Bhatt

How to get off this situation

Here is the situation:
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop-off.
On your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo,
and your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion, running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.
What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?























Get off the merry-go-round and go home 

Rajnikant's Pen drive

Facts about an engineer

Pdho..its gud Funny Facts About Engineers😆

1. For engineers every course 📕apart from engineering📚 is easy

2. An engineer has the power of getting up😴 at 9.25am and reaching the class at 9.30 am.⏰

3. T-shirt and jeans👖 are engineer's national dress and Maggi is the national food.

4. A normal person will fix📌 the broken things but an engineer will first break a thing and then he would fix it.🔧

5. An engineer can build a car, spaceship and they even can make time machine. However, he just can't build a relationship with a girl.

6. An engineer doesn't care for the rise in price💸 of petrol or gold but he gets mad when cigarette costs Rs.5.50 instead of 5.20.

7. An engineer loves to solve a problem. If there is no problem, then he will create📥 one and would start solving it.📤

8. An engineer can derive any relation just give them the final expression

9. Are you made of copper(CU) and tellurium(TE), because you're CUTE
This is how engineers flirt

10. An engineers's worst nightmare is teacher taking the class but not taking the attendance.

11. An engineer can finish his syllabus📓 in one night.

12. An Engineer knows nothing, but only an Engineer knows this.😎

13. An Engineer will never sleep😴 in night and will never wake up in morning.

14. An Engineer is the most innocent person in front of his parents.👪

15. Never argue with an engineer because arguing👥 with Engineers is like killing the mosquito🐜 on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you'll end up slapping✋ yourself.

16. The most common dialogue on the opening day of an engineering college is, "Bhai, iss saal bhi koi khaas ladkiya nahi hain!"

17. No one can speak better English than an engineer who is having  bottle of beer in his hand.

18. There is always a hidden folder📁 in engineer's laptop...

Share if u r a true engineer.........

Priority Test

PRIORITY TEST

Five things are happening in your house at the same time.
In which sequence would you solve them?

1)The telephone is ringing!
2)The baby is crying!
3)Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!
4)You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!
5)You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!

In which sequence would you solve these problems?

Write the sequence and send and wait to see how your decisions were made.
Do it it is fun and u will love the answer
Eg 12345

 

Click here to know the meaning of your answer

This test is called the Sigmund Freud's Priorities.
Every individual point represents something in your life.
1. Telephone represents Work
2. Baby represents Family
3. Door represents Friends
4. Clothes represent Money
5. Tap represents love life.
Your chosen sequence determines the priorities in your life.

Tiger Shroff Jokes

If #TigerShroff becomes famous, his wax statue will be kept in Jim Corbett Park instead of Madam Tussaud’s.

Jackie Shroff took the game NAME PLACE ANIMAL THING too seriously...

Yash Raj Films' sequel to "Ek Tha Tiger" will be titled as "Ek tha Tiger Shroff"

“Tiger Shroff” this name is still better than Rahul Gandhi

Tiger Shroff and Shahrukh Khan should be signed as the brand ambassadors of Vagh Bakri chai!

Tiger Shroff recently had a baby. Ab yeh mat poochho ‘cub hua?’

#Heropanti will come with a disclaimer…’ No animals were hurt during the movie shoot including Tiger Shroff’.

Tiger Shroff’s debut movie would premier on Animal Planet.

‘Save the tigers. Only 1411 left. Tiger Shroff: Make it 1412.

Reporter: What’s your favourite movie? Tiger Shroff : Ek Tha Tiger.

If someone photoshops Priyanka Vadra's hairstyle on Tiger Shroff he will look more Priyanka Vadra than Priyanka Vadra

Don’t be mean guys…Give a big round of applause to Tiger Shroff for an outstanding Oscar winning performance in Life of Pi.

Once Tiger Shroff was locked in the room by Jackie Shroff. Tiger Shroff updated his Whatsapp status as ‘I’m Sherlocked’.

Tiger Shroff will never ever be beaten in any movie coz it will be against animal rights.

‘Tiger se darr nahi lagta sahab,Tiger shroff se lagta hai’ ~ Indians

Tiger Shroff’s favorite market is Karol Bagh

Just saw Tiger Shroff’s action scenes. Now confused if Heropanti would release in Circus or in Theaters!?

Jackie Shroff: Your movie is releasing soon. I'm proud, son!
Tiger: Thanks dad.
Lion: Bhatija kiska hai.
Leopard: Mama ho toh mere jaisa!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A Tiger Shroff Fan Club now exists.
This is why intelligent life forms on other planets have never bothered reaching out to us.

Never underestimate the power of wife

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..


The story continues....
The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card.
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband. 😆

Story continues....
Wife took out husbands credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.
Moral:...... Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE.
😎

New Husband Wife Jokes

‎​New jokes in market 👌

🔴Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
😎😎😎

🔴Ek Aadmi ne conductor se pucha: Aap kitne ghante bus me rehte ho ?

Conductor: 24 hours.

Aadmi: Wo kaise?

Conductor: 8 ghante city bus me, Baaki 16 ghante biwi ke "BASME".!
😫😫😫

🔴Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
😝😝😝

🔴A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.

Was the necklace FAKE?

Nooooo! That was the deal :)
😜😜😜

🔴A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
😁😁😁

🔴Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :

"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"
😳😳😳

🔴Bhakt: Swami ji, aisi Patni ko kya kahte hai jo Gori ho, Lambi ho, sundar ho, Inteligent ho, Pati ko samjhe, Or kabhi jhagda n kare?

Swami: Mann ka Vaham kahte hain Beta, Mann ka Vaham!!!!
😂😅😂
Shortest Joke !
Santa: meri biwi jawaan hai.
Banta: toh border pe bhej de.😂

Who is the killer? Plz solve this

Pls solve this ...
Time to use ur brains...the one who solves this is a real brainy
A man got killed in his office. The suspects are Edison, Maxis, Jason, Jenny, Sofia, Patrick.
A calendar found near the man has blood, written 6, 4, 9, 10, 11.
Who is the killer?
Solve this now

Click here for Answer

JASON
The Numbers represent Months:
6 - June - J
4 - April - A
9 - September - S
10 - October - O
11 - November - N

Chetan Bhagat's beautiful Message

Chetan bhagats
Beautiful message!
💬 Stay away from Anger..
  It hurts ..Only You!

💬 If you are right then there is no need to get angry,

💬 And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

💬 Patience with family is love,

💬 Patience with others is respect.

💬 Patience with self is confidence and Patience with GOD is faith.

💬 Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears...

💬 Don't think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear...

💬 Live this Moment with a Smile,It brings Cheer.

💬Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,

💬 Every problem comes to make us or break us,

💬 The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

💬 Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful

💬 Do you know why God created gaps between fingers?

💬 So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.

💬 Happiness keeps You Sweet..But being sweet brings happiness.

Do Share it with all the Good People In ur Life...

Mumbai Indians dont beat anybody

Judge: Do you want to stay with your mom?
Child: No. She beats me.
Judge: Then do you want to stay with your dad?
Child: No. He beats me too.
Judge: Do you want to stay with your grandparents?
Child: No, they also beat me.
Judge: Ok. So do you want to stay with your uncle?
Child: No. They beat me too
Judge: Ok. So tell me who you want to stay with?
Child: I want to stay with Mumbai Indians.

They dont beat anybody

Show your Talent.. Guess these Indian City Names

Whatsapp Emoticons quiz about "Guess these indian city names"
Chlo Time Pass karo
Show your talent, Guess these indian city names

Show your Talent.. Guess the Indian City names froom the given whatsapp Emoticons / Emojis and give your answers in the comment section.


Answers to Guess these Indian City Names

This Equation is Incomplete: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 = 100

This equation is incomplete: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 = 100
One way to make it accurate is by adding seven plus and minus signs, like so.
1 + 2 + 3 – 4 + 5 + 6 + 78 + 9 = 100
How can you do it using only 3 plus or minus signs?

 

Click here for Answer

123 – 45 – 67 + 89 = 100

Its 3:00 AM in the morning

Answer this !!

It's 3:00 AM in the, morning. You are sleeping. The doorbell rings. It's your family, they want to have breakfast. They have got strawberry jam, bread, honey, coke and milk with them. So, what do you open first ?
Most of the people guess it wrong!

Click here for Answer

EYES

Indian actress names

Sameera went to a parlor
Sameera did her hair
Sameera did her makeup
Sameera Reddy!

Kangana hit the ball
Kangana went for a single
Kangana did not reach the crease
Kangana Ranaut!

Hrithik buys bulb
Hrithik puts bulb in socket
Hrithik switches bulb on
Hrithik Roshan

Poonam applies Chuna
Poonam applies Kathha
Poonam applies Gulkand
Poonam applies supari
Poonam Pan-dey

Amisha la gaadi gift dya
Amisha sathi gaana ga
Amisha barobar island var tym spend kara
Mag Amisha Patel



Answer this 7 letters word: _M_A_k_

Answer this 7 letters word:
_ M _ A _ k _

clue:
1. Girls love it.
2. Boys use it.
3. Parents hate it.
you are brilliant if you say the answer within today..... reply me fast as much as you can
you can send this to your friends to get the answer. . .
your time starts now

----- Another Version of this Riddle ----

Complete this 7 letter word:
_ T _ A _S_

Clue:
1. Girls love it.
2. Boys use it.
3. Parents hate it.
4. Animals are scared of it.

You are brilliant if you say the answer within today..... reply me as fast as you can
You can send it to your friends to get the answer.!

Click here for Answer

ANSWER 1 : EMBARKS
ANSWER 2 : STRAUSS

English and Indians always contradict

The English and we Indians always Contradict... 

English: The sooner the better..
Hindi: Jaldi ka kaam shaitaan ka hota hai... 😈

English: Think of the devil, and the devil is here...
Hindi: Badi lambi umar hai tumhari, abhi tumhe hi yaad kar rahe the... 😋

English: Don't wait, fight for your rights...
Hindi: Sabr ka fal meetha hota hai... 😅

...and the most striking of all,
English: As wise as an owl...
Hindi: Ullu ka Pattha... 😛

Pen kho jaaye toh naya le sakte ho

Pen✒ kho jaaye toh naya le sakte ho....
Lekin agar pen ka dhakkan kho jaye toh naya nai le sakte.
Isliye zindagi mein ek baat yaad rakhna doston:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pen hamesha
Tichuk Tichuk
Wala hi lena

Jaago re !!

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam

Dr. Abdul Kalam's ‪#‎Letter‬ to Every Indian sometime ago...

Why is the media here so negative?

Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?

We are such a Great NATION.

We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?

We are the first in milk production.

We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.

We are the second largest producer of wheat.

We are the second largest producer of rice.

Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit..

There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.
Why are we so NEGATIVE?

Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things?

We want foreign T.Vs,
We want foreign shirts.
We want foreign technology. Why this obsession with everything imported.

Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance?

I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is..
She replied: I want to live in a developed India.

For her, you and I will have to build this developed India.

You must proclaim.
India is not an under-developed nation;
it is a highly developed nation...

YOU say that our government is inefficient.

YOU say that our laws are too old.

YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.

YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.

YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say..

What do YOU do about it?

Take a person on his way to Singapore.
Give him a name - 'YOURS'. Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best.

In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores.

YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are.. You pay $5 (approx. Rs.. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM.

YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity…
In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU?

YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai ..

YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.

YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs..650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.

YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.'

YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand ..

Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo?

Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ???
We are still talking of the same YOU.

YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own.

YOU who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground.

If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country,
Why cannot you be the same here in India ?

In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan ..

Will the Indian citizen do that here?

We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.

We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative.

We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin.

We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.

We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.

When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others what do we do?
We make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home.
      OUR EXCUSE?
'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.'

So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of?
Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government.
But definitely not ME & YOU.

When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.CLEAN to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government.

Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country.

Nobody thinks of feeding the system.

Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too…..

I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..'
ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us.
Forward this letter to each Indian for a change instead of sending JUST JOKES.
Thank you,
Dr. A.P.J. Abdul ‪‬

5 undeniable facts of life

Five undeniable Facts
of Life :

1.
Don't educate
your children
to be rich.
Educate them
to be Happy.
So when
they grow up
they will know
the value of things
not the price

2.
Best awarded words
in London ...

"Eat your food
as your medicines.
Otherwise
you have to
eat medicines
as your food"

3.
The One
who loves you
will never leave you
because
even if there are
100 reasons
to give up
he will find
one reason
to hold on

4.
There is
a lot of difference
between
human being
and being human.
A Few understand it.

5.
You are loved
when you are born.
You will be loved
when you die.
In between
You have to manage...!


Nice line

If u want to Walk Fast,
Walk Alone.
But
if u want to Walk Far,
Walk Together.



Modern form of showing childism

Unfriend On Facebook
Deleting From BBM
Blocking On WhatsApp &
Exiting From Group
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Is the Modern Form of
Our Childhood Katti..!!
😆😆

Politickle

Good Morning and blessed day message

God uses broken things beautifully.
Broken clouds pour rain;
Broken soil sets as field;
Broken crop yields seed;
Broken seed gives life to a new plant.

In any hard situation, if U feel u r broken, understand that God is planning to utilize U for some great cause !! Stay Blessed.. !!

Good Morning & Have a Blessed Day

Boys are smarter than girls

Boy :- I Love You, Tum Is Duniya Ki Sabse Khubsurat Ladki Ho

Girl :- Par Tumhare Peeche Toh Mujhse Bhi Zyaada Khubsurat Ladki Khadi Hai

Ladke Ne Mud Kar Dekha Toh Waha Koi Nahi Tha

Girl :- Agar Tum Mujhse Sachha Pyaar Karte Toh Kabhi Mud Kar Nahi Dekhte..

"I HATE YOU"

Moral :- Moral Woral Kuch Nahi, Bas Ladki Zara Tez Nikli . .

"Par Baat Abhi Baaki Hai Mere Doston"

Boy :- Jaise Tumhaari Marzi, But Ab Ye Diamond Ring Main Kisse Dunga ??

Girl :- Lo !! Ab Main Apne Jaanu Ke Saath Mazaak Bhi Nahi Kar Sakti Kyaa...?

Ladki Ne Ring Box Khol Ke Dekha . . .

Girl :- Yeh Toh Khaali Hai

Boy :- Agar Tum Mujhse Saccha Pyaar Karti Toh Kabhi Verify Nahi Karti Ke Isme Ring Hai Ke Nahi ???

"I HATE YOU"

Moral :- Moral Woral Kuch Nahi, boy's r smarter than girls !!!
😎😎😎😎😆
Bahut ho gayi flirting...
abb karenge sacha pyaar 

kyunki abki baar modi sarkar 

Spanish computer Masculine or feminine

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems,
but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won. Send this to all the smart women you know ... and all the men that have a sense of humor 😋😀😅

Shaadi Shuda aurato ka seminar

Shaadi-shuda Aurto ka seminar chal raha tha.

Unse puchha gaya,

Aapne apne Husband ko'I Love You' last time kab bola hai?

Kisi ne kaha aaj,
kisi ne kaha 2 din pehle
Aur
Kisi ne kaha 10 din pehle.

Fir unse kaha gaya k sab Patniya apne pati ko Mobile se 'I Love You' Message karo abhi,

Jiska sabse accha reply aayega usay Surprise Gift Milega…

Sab wives ne 'I Love You' msg kar diya aur.

Kuchh der baad Husbands k Reply kuchh iss tarah aaye
.
.
.
.
1) Darling, tumhari tabiyat to theek hai na?

2) Ghar kharcha khatam ho gaya hai kya ???

3) Kahin tum Maiyke to nahin chali gayi ???

4) Aaj ghar pe khana nahin bana hai kya ???

5) Kya Matlab ???

6) Tum Sapne mein ho ya main sapna dekh raha hoon?

7) Kity party mein kisi ki Jewellery pasand aa gayi hai kya???

8) Office mein itna tension hai aur tujhe Romance sujh raha hai ???

9) Kitni baar mana kiya Serial mat dekha kar..!!

10) Aaj fir gaadi thok-ke aayi kya????

Finally jisko Surprise Gift Mila uska khatarnak reply ye tha......

.

.

11) Kaun ???

Under rated Pleasures of Life

Most Under rated Pleasures of Life
1: Going for a small walk on a cold night with your favourite person.
2. Getting a head message from your mom/wife/husband after a hard day at work.
3. Coming home to a chilled glass of lemonade after playing in the sun.
4. When the radio plays your favourite song.
5. Taking a really nice dump.
6. Peeing after you have been holding it for a long time.
7. Getting a good download speed on your favourite movie.
8. The joy after giving your last exam.
9. When your mom makes your favourite dish for dinner.
10. The sound of ATM dispensing cash.
11. When you receive a hand written letter in this digital age.
12. When there's chai and pakode to give you company while it rains.
13. Waking up and realizing you still have a couple of hours to sleep.
14. The smell of damp mud during rains.
15. Popping bubble wraps.
16. When you get home and your pet comes running to you.
17. Travelling in a train for 2 days & then reaching home.
18. Going to Bat when your team mate gets out !!

Plaaaaay ball! Now casting live with MLB.TV

The 2014 Major League Baseball season is off to a big start, and now you can make all those hits, homers, steals and K’s even bigger with Chromecast. Thanks to our friends at MLBAM, as of today, you can cast live games straight to the TV with a tap of the cast button.

MLB.TV is the latest live streaming service to come to Chromecast, so now MLB.TV Premium subscribers can invite their friends over to watch live, out-of-market games. You can even choose between home or away broadcast feeds to steer clear of the opposing team's announcers.

The MLB.com At Bat app can be found in the Play Store and Apple Store, with Chromecast support rolling out starting today.  MLB.TV Premium subscription required. Peanuts and Cracker Jack sold separately. As always, explore the latest new apps on Chromecast.com/apps.

Posted by Brad Foreman, Sports Partnerships Lead for Chromecast and Tee Ball Slugger

Laziness helps longer Life

It is impossible to lose weight just by eating salads. Ever looked at buffaloes? They eat only ------grass.

---------------------------
Great Confusion:
Jawahrlal Nehru said
"LAZINESS IS YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY"
Mahatma Gandhi said
"ALWAYS LOVE YOUR ENEMY"
Ab batao bapu ki sune ya chachu ki?..                         --------------------------------------------
A Rabbit 🐇🐇Runs,Jumps
& Lives Only For 15 yrs.

While a Turtle  🐢Doesn't Run
Does Nothing.
Yet lives for 300 yrs.

Moral:

Exercise Is Hell, Just Sleep
Well..

Baba Aaramdev

A beautiful way to understand life

The cockroach theory for self development
    
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.

She started screaming out of fear.

With a panic stricken face and trembling voice,she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.

When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach
responsible for their histrionic behavior?

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?

He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my parents or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:

I understood, I should not react in life.

I should always respond.

The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hands, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry.

A beautiful way to understand............LIFE

Chrome Remote Desktop goes mobile

Have you ever been out and about, and urgently needed to access a file that’s sitting on your home computer? Since 2011, Chrome Remote Desktop has let you remotely access your machine from another laptop or computer in a free, easy and secure way. And now, with the release of the Chrome Remote Desktop app for Android, we’re making it possible for you to do the same thing from your Android device.

If you haven’t used Chrome Remote Desktop in the past, you can get started by enabling your Windows or Mac machine for remote access through the Chrome Web Store app. Next, simply launch the Android app on your phone or tablet, tap on the computer’s name and start using your remote machine as if you were sitting right in front of it. 

Download the Android app from the Play Store, and stay tuned for the iOS app later this year.

Posted by Husain Bengali, Remotely Controlled Product Manager

Why are these answers wrong?

A Student who got 0% Marks, was surprised because his all answers were seemingly correct!
Do you feel that he was wrongly penalised?

Q.1- In which battle did Tipu Sultan Die ?..
Ans.- In his Last Battle..

Q.2- Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
Ans.- At the Bottom of the Page..

Q.3- What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?..
Ans.- Marriage..

Q.4- Ganga Flows in which State ?..
Ans.- Liquid State..

Q.5- When was Mahatma Gandhi Born ?..
Ans.- On His Birthday..

Q.6- How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People ?..
Ans.- By Preparing Mango Shake..!!

Q.7-India Me saal bhar Sabse Zyada Baraf Kaha Girti Hai...???..
Awesome Reply By Student:- .."Daaru K Glass Me..."


A Poor couple and their son in US

A Poor Couple lived in a Small Village in India.

They had only 1 Son.

They gave him the Best Education.

Son Graduated as an Engineer in the nearby City

Eventually He got Married to a Rich Girl.

Initially, They Lived with His Parents in the Village.

Soon the Wife got Tired of Village Life & Persuaded Her Husband to Move to the City Leaving His Old Parents in the Village.

As Time went,the Husband saw an Ad in the Newspaper about a
Job Vacancy in U.S

He was Successful & Lived in U.S for 20 Years with His Wife.

Regularly, He used to Send Money to His Parents

Eventually with Time, He Stopped & Forgot about His Parents whether
They ever Existed.

Every Day He Pray & Immediately after each Prayer He used to see Someone telling Him
in a Dream that his Prayer is not Accepted.

One Day, He Related this Story to a 'Pious Aalim' who Advised Him to go Back to India to Visit His Parents.

The Man Flew to India & Reached the Boundary of His Village.

Everything was Changed over there.

He could not Find His House.

So He asked to the Head of the Village about the Whereabouts of His Parents.

The Head of the Village directed Him to a House & said: "In this House, Lives an Old Blind Lady who Lost Her Husband a Few Months Ago. She has a Son who Migrated to
US 20 Years back & Never came Back again. What an Unfortunate Man."

Son enters that Home &
Finds His Mother on the Bed.

He Tip-Toed as He did not want to Wake Her up.

He hears His Mother Whispering or Mumbling Something.

He gets Closer to Hear His Mothers Voice.

This is what His Mother was Saying:

AAB KI BAAR MODI SARKAR....

Ab Ki Baar Modi Sarkar Jokes Part 2

Dekha hai pehli baar, Saajan ki Aankhon mein Pyaar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Circumference of Circle is 2 Pi r,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Alok nath ji sikhayenge hume Sanskaar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

A Man Walked into a bar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Cigarette Peene waalon ke Phephadon mein hota hai Tar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

I dont know who you are,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Arvind ke paas hai WagonR,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

CID aata hai har Shukravar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Chutney ke bina Dkokla hai bekaar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Paani poori is dus ki chaar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

1 pascal = 1.0x10^-5 baar
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Roses are red, Violets are blue, whatever the color,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Near, Far, Where ever you are,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

So What do you think of my car,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Chatur ne kiye Chamatkar pe Chamatkar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Ek duni do, do duni Chaar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Safed hai Cement, Kala hai Tar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Salman ne kiya black buck ka shikaar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Leonardo de caprio : Iss bar bhi oscar nahi mila yaar.
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Random Words that end with 'AAR'
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Dekha joh tujhe yaar, Dil mein baji guitar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Joker : Do you want to know How i got this scar?
Batman : Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

I want answers and Nation wants to know samachar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Daya, Tumharey Saamney Darwazey hain bekaar,
Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Kya aap karte hai biwi se pyaar?
Toh Abki Baar Modi Sarkar

Abki Baar Modi Sarkar Jokes Part 1

Check your knowledge of Mumbai Railway Stations

Check your knowledge of the MUMBAI RAILWAY STATIONS!!!!!!!
Only those of you who are from Mumbai can attempt this.
An example... 4 is andheri

1. Raja ka chakkar.
2. Allah ho Akbar.
3. Pandu ka Thikana.
4. This place in darkness.
5. Steps.
6. Over the hill.
7. Fair village.
8. Education resides here.
9. Your head is in Curd.
10. Barber's Village.
11. A road leading towards a devotional lady.
12. Pampering by Mom
13. Home of glucose biscuit
14. Happywala Town
15. Brother come tommorow
16. God of sky
17. Revengeful town
18. Goddess of wealth
19. Brothers inside

Reply with your correct answers..good luck Mumbaikars answer fast.......

Answers to Check your knowledge of mumbai railway stations quiz

Guess Lord Ganesha's Names whatsapp Quiz

Whatsapp Emoticons quiz about " Guess Lord Ganesha's Names "

Guess Lord Ganesha's Names from the whatsapp forwards showing Emoticons / smileys / Stickers and give your answers in the comment section.






Answers to Guess Lord Ganesha's Names Whatsapp Emoticons quiz

Guess the Toothpaste Brands names

Whatsapp Emoticons quiz about "Guess Toothpaste Brands Names"

Guess Toothpaste Brand Names from the give whatsapp smileys and give your answers in the comments.


Answers to Guess Toothpaste Brands Names Whatsapp quiz

New Dictionary with new meanings

This is the Classic New Dictionary with Cool new Meanings....specially made for College and High School Student's

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage .

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power. ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails..

19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist : - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Childhood best part of life

When I was small :-

• I'd put my arms in my
shirt and told people
I lost my arms

• Would restart the video
game whenever I knew I was going to lose

• Had that one pen with
four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once

• Waited behind a door to
scare someone, then leaving because they're taking too long to come out.

• Faked being asleep,so I
could be carried to bed.

• Used to think that the moon followed our car

• Tried to balance the switch between On/Off

• Watching two drops of
rain roll down window and pretending it was a race

• The only thing i had to
take care of was a school bag.

• Swallowed a fruit seed I
was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy.

• Closed the fridge
extremely slowly to see
when the lights went off.

• Walked into a room,. forgot what you needed, Walked out, and then remember.

Remember when we were
kids and couldn't wait to grow up? and now we think why did we even grow up?

Childhood Was The Best Part Of our Life

i know u have a smile on ur face while reading the msg....if u want someone close to u smile too...go ahead..share the joyful memoirs 

What has a neck and no head

What has a neck and no head,
two arms but no hands?
What am I?

Click here for Answer

Shirt

Though liquid in nature

Though liquid in nature,
don’t push me too far for then i will break,
and the damage may scar.
What am i?

Click here for Answer

Glass

Mountains will crumble and temples will fall

Mountains will crumble and temples will fall,
and no man can survive its endless call.
What is it?

Click here for Answer

Time

Almost everyone sees me without noticing me

Almost Everyone sees me without noticing me.
For What is beyond is what he or she seeks.
What am i?

Click here for Answer

Window

When the day after tomorrow is yesterday

When the day after tomorrow is yesterday,
today will be as far from Wednesday as today was from Wednesday
when the day before yesterday was tomorrow.
What is the day after this day?

Click here for Answer

Thursday

What wont break if you throw it off the highest building

What won’t break if you throw it off the highest building in the world,
but will break if you place it in the ocean?

Click here for Answer

Tissue

I am in the sky but also in the ground

I am in the sky but also in the ground.
When you study me, no matter how long,
i will always end with an f.
I may be in your yard but not in your house.
What am i?

Click here for Answer

Leaf

Clocks that tell lies

A man dies. In Heaven he sees a Large Wall full of Clocks.
He asks angel:"What are these for?"
Angel answers: "These r Lie Clocks, every person has lie clock! Whenever u lie on earth, clock moves."
The man points towards a clock n asks: Whose clock is this?
Angel says: its Mother Teresa's. It never moved, showing that she never told lie.
The man asks: Where is Indian Politician Arvind kejriwal's clock?
Angel replies: That's in our office ...we use it as TABLE FAN !

Second Job for IT people joke

IT Manager : Tumhe aaj raat late evening call karni padegi!

IT Analyst : kya hai saahab raat ko mere dhande ka time hota hai

IT Manager : kya matlab ?

IT Analyst : Sir raat ko Auto chalata hu... itni salary me ghar kahan chalta hai

IT Manager : Bas kar pagle rulayega kya. !! kabhi raat ko biwi bachon ko le ke aana meri pav-bhaji ki
dukan pe!!
😛

Nasa proof of abki baar modi sarkar

NASA gets proof of Extraterrestrial intelligence...

Alien civilization much advanced and intelligent than ours exists in galaxy near Orion 311...

Radio messages received from them in binary on 7th April 2014,

Which were

1000001111000111#1100011

After decryption at NASA by the worlds topmost and intelligent scientists, the original message was received, which is as under:

AABKI BAR
MODI SARKAR...

Gujju English love letter

Couldn't stop sharing this one... Gujju wrote this english love letter:

Maari deer Pusspa ben,

U r q tea, luv lee, sack sea, on nest, a tract thief, cheer fool, soup pub & u r very press yes..

Tharo lowr,

Come less bhai
😅

Happy Daughters week

Happy daughter week.   Daughter is not equal to tension
But
In today's world
Daughter is equal to
Ten son' s...

          

"Jo 'Mummy' or 'Papa' ko Swarg le jaata hai, wo "Beta" Hota hai
par,

Jo Swarg ko Ghar Le a।aye,
wo "Beti" Hoti hai".....!

Forward to all lovely daughters...👭👭
A FATHER Asked His DAUGHTER:
Who Would U Love More, Me Or Ur Husband..??

The BEST Reply Given By the DAUGHTER:
I Don't Know Really,
But When I See U,
I Forget Him,
But When I See Him,
I Remember U..

U Can Always Call Ur DAUGHTER As Beta,
But U Can Never Call Ur Son As Beti..

That's Why DAUGHTERS are SPECIAL..

BETI ki mohabbat ko
kabhi Aazmana nahi,

woh phool hai usse
kabhi Rulana nahi,

BAAP ka toh Maan
hoti hai BETI,

Zinda
Hone ki Pehchan Hoti
hai BETI,

Uski Ankhe
kabhi Num na Hone
dena,

Uski zindagi se
khushiya kabhi kam
na Hone dena,

Ungli pakad ke kal jis ko
Chalaya tha tumne,

Phir Usko hee Doli mai
Beethana hai tumhe,

Bahut Chota sa Safar
Hota hai BETI ka saath

Bahot kum Waqt ke
Liye hoti hai woh
hamare Pass..!!

HAPPY DAUGHTER'S WEEK 

It's DAUGHTER'S WEEK..
If you have a daughter who makes your life worth living by just being around and you love her as much as your own Breath..;

If you are proud of your Daughter, copy and paste this to other people with daughters..!!

Daughters are khushee.!
Daughters are angels.!j

Happy
Daughters
Week

It runs and runs but can never flee

It runs and runs but can never flee.
It is often watched, yet never sees.
When long it brings boredom,
When short it brings fear.
What is it?

Click here for Answer

TIME

This old one runs forever, but never moves at all

This old one runs forever, but never moves at all.
He has not lungs nor throat, but still a mighty roaring call.
What is it?

Click Here for Answer

WaterFall

You Hear it speak, for it has a hard tongue

You hear it speak, for it has a hard tongue.
But it cannot breathe, for it has not a lung.
What is it?

Click here for Answer

BELL

Species called Boss

Species called BOSS

Boss:Okay team, today we are going to play a game.

When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court.
And when I say a color, you run to the left side of the court. got it?

Team members: Yes, Got it.

Boss:Okay...Ready, Set...
.
.
.
ORANGE!

Team members: 

There are three types of products

solve a puzzle:
There are three types of products and there prices are 10 rs ,3 rs and 0.50 paise.you have to buy 100 products in a 100 rs and all the three products you have to buy atleast once.so How will you buy 100 products in 100 rs?

Abki baar Modi Sarkar Jokes

Old slogan : dudh mangoge to khir denge or kashmir maangoge to chir denge,

New slogan : na dudh denge na khir denge agar kashmir manga to sala Lahore bhi chin lenge

Ab ki baar Modi sarkaar
Nalasopara ke baad virar.. abki baar modi sarkaar

Teri maa ko mera namaskaar apki baar modi sarkaar

Do Aur do, hote hain chaar, abki baar, modi sarkar

Karenge puncture
Kejru ki WagonR
Abki baar Modi Sarkar

Modi ne seekha alok nath se sanskar. Abhi baar modi sarkar

Nahi nahi , abhi nahi, abhi karo intezaar. Abki baar modi sarkar

Cigarette mein hota hai tar, abki baar modi sarkaar

Twinkle twinkle little star.. abki baar modi sarkaar

Rahul gandhi ne khai chocobaar abki baar modi sarkaar

Daaru pine se peth aata hai bahar, abki baar modi sarkaar

Daru pine chalo baar, abki baar modi sarkaar

Paratho ke saath acha lagta hai aam ka aachar abki baar modi sarkaar

Nissan sunny.. its not a car.. its a caaaaaaar.. abki baar modi sarkaar

Chutney ke bina dhokla hai bekaar, abki baar modi sarkar.

I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, modi sarkar

Abcdefghijklmnopq r
Abki baar modi sarkar.

Cool drink peekar aati hai dakaar , abki baar
modi sarkar. 

More of Abki Baar Modi Sarkar Jokes - Part 2

Bill Gates Microsoft Windows bugs

Bill Gates has decided not to invest further in India after receiving a letter📃 from Mr. Banta.

To,
Bill Gates,
Microsoft,
U.S.A.

From: Banta

Date: 1 April 2013

Subject: Problems with my new computer...

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home & we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button.
We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system?
I find only 're-cycle',
but I own a scooter.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working.
My wife lost the door key & we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace.
Please rectify this problem.🚪

4. My child learned😅 'Microsoft word' & now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence',
so when you will provide that?😮

5. I bought computer,
CPU, mouse & keyboard,but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when will you provide me the remaining ?😬

6. It is surprising that windows says 'My Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.😶

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home.🏡

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'.
When you will provide 'My Past Documents'? 

9. You provide 'My Network Places'.
For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'.
I do not want my wife know where I go.😵

Last one Mr. Bill Gates

P.S: "Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS ?"

Regards,
Banta ..😹

How to get happiness

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.

Suddenly the speaker stopped and started giving each person a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes.

Everyone was frantically searching for their name, pushing, colliding with each other, and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes, no one could find their own balloon.

Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began: This is exactly happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.

And this is the purpose of human life

It is a 11 letter word

It is a 11 letter word
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
1,2,3,4 is a bank's name
5,6,7 is a car's name
8,9,10,11 is a mode of transport
What is the word?
99% Fail to answer correctly. .
Who is d genius of our group.
Try your luck🎭

Answer :

Citizenship

Citi : Bank

Zen : Maruti Zen a car's name 

Ship : a mode of Transport

Answers to Guess Toothpaste Brands

Question of "Guess Toothpaste Brands"
Answers to Whatsapp Quiz Guess Toothpaste Brands names.
1. Arm n hammer
2. Babool
3. Kolynos
4. Cibaca
5. Close up
6. Colgate
7. Meswak
8. Pepsodent
9. Sensodyne
10. kaladant

Answers to Guess these Indian City Names

Question of "Chlo Time pass karo, show your talent Guess these Indian City Names"
Answers to Guess these Indian City Names
1 New Delhi
2 Chandigarh
3 Nashik
4 Cochin
5 Bombay
6 Pondicherry
7 Indore
8 Calicut
9 Nagpur
10 Bhopal
11 Pune
12 Guwahati
13 Agra
14 Banglore
15 Satara
16 Culcatta
17 Gangapur
18 Manali
19 Tirumala (Tirupati)
20 Manglore

Answers to Guess Mumbai Railway Stations Quiz

Question of Check your knowledge of Mumbai Railway Stations
Answer to Check your knowledge of Mumbai Railway Stations quiz
1. King Circle
2. Masjid Bunder
3. Thane
4. Andheri
5. Dadar
6. Ghatkopar
7. Goregaon
8. Vidya Vihar
9. Dahisar
10. Naigaon
11. Mira Road
12. Malad
13. Vile Parle
14. Ulhasnagar
15. Byculla
16. Ambernath
17. Badlapur
18. Mahalaxmi
19. Bhayander

Sardar rocks

Profesor : Pehli hindi
Silent film kaun si hai..?

Sardar : Agar film silent thi
To aapko kaise pata chala
Ki wo hindi hai..?

Profesor shocked
&
1st time sardar Rocks.....
😆😆

Answers to Guess Lord Ganesha's Names Whatsapp Quiz

Question to Whatsapp Emoticons quiz " Guess Lord Ganesha's Names"
Answers to Whatsapp Emoticons quiz " Guess Lord Ganesha's Names"
1. Prathamesh
2. Vinayak
3. Ek Dant
4. Ganpati
5. Gajananaya
6. Parvatinandan
7. Rudrapriya
8. Ganraya
9. Vighnaharta
10. Gauri Putra
11. Lal Baag ka Raja