General Jokes

I typed MARRIED it was auto corrected to MARTYRED ..
So then I typed SHAADI it auto corrected to SHAHEED ..
Damn !!! These smart phones have gained too much intelligence .

•—————————————-
Earlier people used to remove their hats to give respect

and
our new generation
…
.
.
removes
head phones
to give respect!

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What is similarity between the Indian Govt. And Pakistan Govt…..?

Answer-
Both don’t care for INDIANS…!!!
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Husband was throwing knives on wife’s photo.

All were missing the target!

Suddenly he received a call from her “hi, what r u doing?”

His honest reply,

“MISSING u!”
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India is running on trial and error……..

Error was congress and now trial will be BJP
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Its damn funny when a wife thinks she is punishing her husband by not talking to him for days.
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SINDHI bhai opened Sweets shop & gave an advertisement…!

Helper required..

Qualification:- Must have diabetes!
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ALL Happy Husbands Behave Like Amir Khan In Ghajini -
Biwi Ki Sunte Hain,
Samajhte Hain,
Aur.
15 Minute Ke Baad Sab BhooL Jaate Hain… __________________________________
Santa- Teri aur bhabhi ki jodi to “Ram-Sita” ki jodi hai.

Banta- Kahan yaar!! Na to ye dharti me samati hai, na hi ise koi Raavan le jata hai…! __________________________________

What a Great New Generation it is!!
5 year old son was crying.
Dad came & asked
Why are you crying ? Tell me I’m your friend naa..

Son: Kuch nahi yaar.. Zara sa Horlicks kya nahi piya, teri ITEM bhadak gayi !!! __________________________________